In the early hours of the morning, I heard the beeping of machines, the hustle of nurses preparing for a new day, and the soft snoring of my eighty-one year old roommate; as I lay quietly recounting the last twenty-four hours. My mind in a complete jumble of events wondering how I even ended up in the hospital on the eve of Thanksgiving.

Managing a chronic illness like POTS, while it definitely has its challenges, after a while, I’ve learned to adapt. Recognizing triggers, those things that make symptoms worse, becoming acutely aware of what is going on inside my body at any given moment.

However, this time was different…

My cardiologist sent me to get blood work following an Atrial Fibrillation episode detected on my Linq recorder the previous night. Before going home, we decided to stop at Walmart and per usual, Ryan had me on the phone while he shopped in the store. During our conversation, I could hear him asking me questions but it became increasingly difficult to respond. By the time he returned to the car my entire right side had gone completely numb, and my speech was beginning to slur.

The next thing I remember was waking up to nurses giving me instructions while placing me on a bed. I didn’t quite understand what they were asking or how we had even arrived at the hospital.

Blood draws, CT scans, and numerous tests were run. We were overjoyed as all functioning restored within a span of hours. Then came those dreaded words…“We would like to keep you overnight for observation.” They then explained the tests they would run the following day to ensure everything with my heart was stable.

Worry immediately gripped me and I am ashamed to admit my first thought was, “Lord, why am I having to endure this?”

That evening was spent with family visits, laughter, prayer, a few tears, and when the time came for everyone to leave, I was terrified. Overwhelmed by the events of the day and fearing what was to come led to a sleepless night, tossing and turning, pleading with God to fill me with peace.

As dawn broke, I grabbed my phone desperate for a word from the Lord, I opened my Bible app and came across the following passage.

“The Joy of the Lord is my strength and my song. He has given me Victory!”

(Psalm 118:14. NLT)

Shuffling to the bathroom to splash water on my face, I stood looking into the mirror, the woman looking back at me had unkempt hair and red rimmed eyes. She also had the hint of a smile that reached the corners of her mouth.

Returning to bed, I began praying for the people I‘d encounter; doctors, nurses and patients who may need encouragement. Songs and scriptures now flooding my mind, I began humming quietly, not to disturb my still sleeping roommate. The minutes slowly ticked by as I waited for the hospital transport to take me down for testing. This time, however, my heart wasn’t filled with anxiety but rather, calm and a sense of purpose. Once transport arrived, we wound through the quiet corridors of the hospital exchanging in polite conversation about her busy day.

I was placed in a large room with three other patients awaiting the same type of testing. A woman in her mid-forties began sharing her story that led to the hospital with another man, while I quietly listened. The man, a rather chatty fella in his early sixties, shared his back-story and how he hoped that his tests yielded good results. After a moment he paused and said, “Even if everything doesn’t turn out alright, I know the Lord will take care of me. I am not afraid to die because I have accepted Christ.” He went on to share the message of the gospel with simplicity, conviction, and grace. It was truly inspiring.

Feeling encouraged, I was about to add to the conversation when the technician came to wheel me in for the next portion of my test.

With my brother in Christ in mind, I lifted up a silent prayer, “Lord, use me to bring a smile to as many people as I can today, regardless of how I feel, because you alone are my strength!”

Once that prayer was uttered, God delivered allowing me to share His faithfulness with others about my health journey. Christ alone being the reason for my joy and positive outlook in the midst of continued struggle.

Although my stay resulted in new medications, and uncertainties about the future. It allowed the medical team to adjust my loop recorder settings to focus in on the exact type of irregular heartbeat I am experiencing.

Most importantly, my night away from home served as an opportunity to stretch and grow my faith. A much needed reminder that God can use anyone to share His message of hope and salvation, regardless of circumstance.

Have you experienced that same joy, claiming the strength and victory found only in a relationship with Christ? I would love to hear from you, to share in your faith journey.

Or, maybe this is the first time you are reading about a relationship with Christ and would like to learn more.

Comment below or send me a private message through Contact.

I look forward to hearing from you!