A group of grade school boys raced by as one shouted out his stinging remark… “Don’t let the ‘Goodyear Blimp’ on the swings, she will break them.”

I hurriedly brushed the tears that escaped while trying to muster every ounce of courage I felt and shouted over my shoulder. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Boy was I wrong!!!

There I sat twenty plus years removed from the incident, I vividly remembered each detail and the students who taunted me daily with unkind words. My heart felt heavy with the combined weight of every insult, thought, and opinion heaped on through adolescence. 

Even as an adult, people felt inclined to share their sentiments in matters large and small. Everything from how I should “correctly” style my hair while leading worship at church - to an inability of creating a friendship because I didn’t have children - to my take-charge personality, and my personal favorite - if only I had faith, God would heal me.

I’d lay awake at night replaying conversations in my head and rehearse upcoming encounters in an effort to improve my ever growing list of imperfections.

No part of my people-pleasing existence seemed to measure up in the eyes of those around me. 

As time passed, I embraced a Queen Elsa “conceal don’t feel” approach to living and did the only thing I knew, in a failed attempt to protect my fragile heart.

I withdrew…

I assembled sky-scrapers neatly around my heart and home to keep the villagers away. I believed if I didn’t let them in, they couldn’t hurt me. If I kept people at arm’s length, their opinions wouldn’t cut me to the core.

However, I slowly discerned that my sheltered existence was robbing me of the richness found in relating to others. I knew the only way to experience freedom in my relationships was to find a new way to interact with the people in my sphere.

While dredging through the mire of untruths, insights, and opinions filed in the corners of my mind; I came across a quote that has profoundly altered the way I approach information received from others.

“Don’t let people speak things into
your life that God never did.”
George Holleway

God Says:

You are loved! Zephaniah 3:16-17; 1 John 3:1; Galatians 2:20

You are valuable! Matthew 6:25-27;Romans 5:8

You are His child! John 3:12; 2 Corinthians 6:18; Galatians 4:7

You are completely forgiven! 1 John 1:9 ; Psalm 85:2; Psalm 103:10-12

The truths of Christ far outweigh anything mere humans can relate.

Through God’s gentle softening of each layer in my constructed barriers, I came to realize that the thoughts and opinions of others are just that - THEIRS. 

The power of owning those words is entirely up to me.

Each piece of criticism or thoughtful perspective is now weighed cautiously before it is accepted. If a comment doesn’t call me to repentance according to God’s word, then I can freely lay it aside.

IF, however, I need to transform my views or behaviors in light of God’s mercy; I will gratefully welcome the accountability displayed by a fellow brother or sister.

As my new measures of filtering feedback are becoming a habit, the Lord is stirring within me a desire to adapt my everyday conversations.  I find myself taking deliberate examination of the way I speak to and about others. Our words have the power to destroy or build up the people with which we interact. 

Paul says it this way in Ephesians 4:29, AMP

Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.

As believers, we have been given a precious gift, a unique opportunity to cross paths with multitudes who need encouragement, hope, and the life giving redemption found in Christ. Why would we choose to waste them on tearing one another down? May we heed the instruction of the apostle Paul today and build people up by the words we say, benefiting all who may listen.

If you do find yourself on the receiving end of unanticipated feedback, simply ask the Lord to reveal His truths over your life and carefully sift through the information, in view of His mercy and grace.

My prayer dear reader, as you pursue a lifestyle of worship, is that you mindfully consider the words spoken to one another. Choose life, hope, and the love of Christ so that those who hear may be blessed.