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Life experiences, family dynamics, career pursuits and other factors influence the direction a couple takes. By holding space for growth, we allow God to work freely in our lives as individuals and within our marriage. “Dull marriages come alive when couples pursue their marriage vows as an active commitment to growth! Your marriage has so much potential, but you won’t realize those positive possibilities unless you decide to serve, listen to, appreciate, and affirm each other. ” (Art Hunt, A Weekend with the One You Love) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/fe36648a-6a89-44ac-bbc3-2549ce380ec3/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out “'Happily ever after' or 'Happy ever after' are typically used as a formulaic ending to a fairy tale or children's story, or in romantic novels to describe wedded bliss. The meaning is quite literal - 'from then onwards and forever, happiness pervades'.” In reality, good marriages are simply two imperfect people writing a love story over a lifetime. Some days include overwhelming happiness and others, not so much… yet we persist. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/db9c493e-4f08-4218-b3f9-0dce78f09e3c/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out Ryan was noticeably upset following one of my difficult medical appointments. “Don’t they understand there is more to marriage…” he asked. Even though the secular narrative promotes physical intimacy as the key ingredient for a successful marriage… Leaning into emotional, spiritual, and intellectual moments of vulnerability allows couples to stay connected in a way that physical intimacy alone can’t rival. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/547026ef-53f2-4815-8d94-bb382aae450c/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out Is this going to end? The nagging thought surfaced after disagreements in the early years. Not because of anything my beloved said; it was merely an insecurity I had to overcome. Ryan, ever the patient one, would reassure me by saying things like, "Erica, divorce is not an option or we are in this till death do us part…” Statistics indicate that this life we have built, navigating loss and disability, should have fractured us long ago. But in our home, the D word has become a "seven-letter" word we just don’t use. , : : , : . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/6c4488a0-ff14-488c-b0d6-e03560caff37/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out Women often bristle at the mention of being submissive in marriage. It’s as if we dismiss the passages that detail a husband’s role within the home. When we study Ephesians 5, in its entirety, we see that God’s design includes submission on behalf of both partners, equally. Ephesians 5 closes out with the following reminder… ❞, [ ] [ , ], [ ] [ , , , ].❞ 5:33, At the end of the day, when Ryan and I are equally submissive to the Lord, love and respect flow freely. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/d471e899-5154-445d-bdba-50077ae7ce37/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out Prayer places us in a posture of surrender, altering our outlook in every circumstance. Additionally, praying together has strengthened our faith and connection with each other. “ ℎ ' ℎ ℎ ℎ ℎ ℎ …” “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other…Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” Romans 22:10,12 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/40d14770-75a4-48a3-b801-b9f7404dbbae/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out Oh, year three… Everyone warned us that the first year of marriage would be the most difficult. But for my beloved and me, year three proved to be more challenging. Upon returning to P-burg, at the beginning of year three, we never imagined the toll it would take on our union. Extended family, new jobs, and other challenges sought to upset the balance of our home. Not intentionally, of course, but in our naivety saying “no” felt foreign, therefore, we became overly scheduled and massively stressed. While we encourage young couples to start out on their own, if given the opportunity… We highlight the importance of setting boundaries in order to create a flourishing partnership. “At last!” the man exclaimed. ‘This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:23-24, AMP https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/4301f076-780c-4eef-8479-90700b6a0b0c/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out A Christian marriage is designed to model God first, spouse second. Jobs come and go, children grow up and create families of their own, some friends last only for a season. In our home we have learned to safeguard that number two position for one another. ‘…So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Mark 10: 6-9, NIV Please understand that this does not mean you dismiss other responsibilities. I read an article from a young mom who heard these words at a wedding and insisted this structure is garbage: “my husband is a grown man, he can take care of himself… my kids need me,” she wrote. That is absolutely true, but perhaps her confusion lies in understanding God’s design for marriage. Ryan didn’t marry me, so I could fill the role of mother. I am his partner… a helpmate, designed to journey with him through this life. I love how Brenda Luscombe sums up this partnership, “Loving your kids is like going to school — you don’t really have a choice,” but “Loving your spouse is like going to college — it’s up to you to show up and participate.” Modeling this set-up educates children about healthy relationships. It also creates a thriving, intentional bond with your spouse that ultimately glorifies God. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/45676f99-b569-44f4-9d3f-7c18a9d538c7/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out “Where do you want to eat?” my sweet groom inquired. My usual people-pleasing response, “I don’t care, what would you like?” This line of questioning consumed a large portion of our time and gasoline in the early days. Finally, Ryan instituted the 3. 2. 1. restaurant rule. “Give me three choices,” he would say. After listing a few options, he would eliminate one… allowing me to select the final destination. My husband, forever my favorite problem-solving genius!! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/9c095ca9-e34c-4e02-9949-9222dd396bd7/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later (part 2) - Make it stand out This final lesson is one we share with all couples preparing to embark on the “til death do us part” journey. Each morning you have to consciously choose to love your spouse. Some days that choice will be like slapping that easy button, but other days require a little more effort. Love is not merely a feeling we experience but an action to be carried out. Love is not meant to be passive, it is deliberate and intentional, requiring active participation. These truths about love are recited during most wedding ceremonies… “Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. Love never fails [it never fades nor ends]… 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, AMP If Ryan and I spend the next twenty years practicing the instructions above, it will be time well spent! https://hopethatsoars.com/story-of-us/20th-anniversary monthly 0.5 2023-05-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/76bcb42f-e8c3-4426-ab17-3fe6a87dfc50/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out When you are far too serious and marry a jokester, you have two options… You can spend a lifetime in a permanent eye roll or learn to laugh. I’ll be forever thankful that my beloved taught me to embrace fun and makes me laugh every day. Need some inspiration? Ryan enjoys people doing stupid stuff, barf scenes, and giggling babies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/fc9c357b-b458-4b9c-9b46-d5e971e76e0f/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out Your spouse is NOT designed to meet all of your needs. That is part of God’s job description. Philippians 4:19 tells us, “My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” As our “favorites” grow in God’s blessings, I pray they take this one lesson away, as they watch Ryan and me: Seek God FIRST and allow Him to be your source of supply. Allow Him to make you complete. When that becomes our singular pursuit, we ultimately experience God’s best within our relationships. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1da26827-53be-4a10-8beb-eee965926204/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out When the honeymoon phase ends, and the stressors increase, the real work begins. Putting intentional effort into your relationship is a requirement for taking ordinary to extraordinary! “Falling in love is great, but chasing your love and experiencing it every day is even greater.” Anonymous https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/afb2da94-58d1-4fba-b8bb-6307c1d93c38/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out You are always happy, do you guys ever fight?” our young nephew asked. While we quickly reassured him that conflict is normal in every relationship, his question sparked further discussion on the matter. We explained that we decided early in our marriage to keep disagreements between us. We recognize it’s important for parents to model healthy conflict resolution for children, however, our situation is unique and doesn’t always include those opportunities. People form opinions quickly and although projecting perfection is never our intention, we always want to present one another in a positive manner. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/6743fb45-f753-4405-963a-c088a453c4f1/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out I sat in a room full of men that, for the better part of an hour, took turns bashing their wives. My face must have registered something akin to disgust because one looked over and said, “Oh no, I think we are making her uncomfortable.” While that statement was true, I was outnumbered and ill equipped to confront them on the matter. I quickly exited but couldn’t help wondering if that was the norm. Later, I questioned Ryan who said unfortunately, yes, it has become acceptable to complain or ridicule partners in their absence. He shared, having experienced something similar with a friend. The world is so full of critics, my husband does not need me to take part in putting him down. Ryan and I believe wholeheartedly, that the change we so desperately need, starts in the home. If I can’t be Ryan’s number one fan, hype-woman, or personal cheerleader… WHO WILL? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/5aaa5dc8-1502-4a4c-9214-5a64def361c2/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out Have you ever had a moment in life when you have an instant connection with an animal and know it is going to be something special? Nope... I am not really an animal person. But, I choose to love a man who is head over heels about cats and I will never deny him such joy. Watching him interact with them has taught me a great deal about unconditional love. Two decades in, I can confidently say that I can’t imagine our home without the sweet little mischief makers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/ce988fd7-1cbf-42a6-a2fa-7be9bc396541/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out We have learned a great deal by sharing our diverse interests. Y’all, I had not lived until I attended my first Comic Con or watched all the Marvel Movies, in order. And Ryan has been thoroughly educated on prosciutto, or as he calls it “fancy bacon,” while watching my favorite cooking shows, and always listens intently as I share my latest blog. We don’t have to enjoy the same things in order to show we care. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/e91a5b5a-728c-4152-93aa-9af0df196040/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out Waking up to the humming sounds of the vacuum went a long way in filling this girl’s love tank. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/daadd815-3fb3-47f4-aeaf-e5ef33154075/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out My hubby could happily live on dairy… therefore, a spoon in the car became a necessity for when an ice cream craving hits. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/e66050ec-d8b7-4a20-b24b-7f98bca2fdca/typorama.png Story of Us - Married Life… 20 Years Later - Make it stand out Obviously every couple experiences conflict at some point in their relationship. Learning how you respond to conflict will allow you to be constructive rather than destructive in the long run. For example, many arguments in our early days ended with hurt feelings and very little resolution. That is until I learned that Ryan needs a little space to process before tackling an issue. He learned that I want to dive in and get to resolution, regardless of what hurtful things come about. After discussing our desire for resolution, we realized what I need is reassurance before he takes that space. So, it typically goes like this… source of conflict appears and Ryan will say something like, “We will address this, but right now, I need time.” What I hear is, he is not blowing me off but just needs to collect his thoughts before returning to the matter at hand. Do we do this perfectly every time?Absolutely NOT!! That is when grace and forgiveness are required on both parts. **Another lesson learned… you don’t need to attend every argument. Ask yourself, will this issue matter in five minutes or five years? If not, let it go!! https://hopethatsoars.com/story-of-us/the-story-of-us monthly 0.5 2024-01-07 https://hopethatsoars.com/home daily 1.0 2024-05-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/ca6e30fa-3c54-488b-b95e-04149fdbc3fd/IMG_0580.jpeg Home Page - Isaiah 40:31 But those who HOPE in the Lord will RENEW their STRENGTH. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. https://hopethatsoars.com/contact daily 0.75 2018-10-31 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1539120092848-OPKHUGVGUJH9AOQ0FKVR/stay+connected.png Contact https://hopethatsoars.com/about daily 0.75 2023-05-15 https://hopethatsoars.com/contact-1 daily 0.75 2023-01-04 https://hopethatsoars.com/the-story-of-us daily 0.75 2023-05-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1670955242583-JFH0TY3UYCKXHIR2OFXX/Ryan+and+Erica+at+Lighthouse.JPG The Story of Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1670955310275-GAP0JI388G4QURO3BS2Z/DSC_4747.jpg The Story of Us https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1623958926802-2Z1FVK38UNF2ZMXPDJA2/6E0AB844-A063-4A40-9AB1-4D5405C34A2F.jpeg The Story of Us https://hopethatsoars.com/renewed-strength daily 0.75 2022-11-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1607012385569-SU6FAF6EKAAJG7V5YO9O/IMG_3895.jpg Renewed Strength-MONAT - New Growth After 5 months of consistent use, I am seeing new growth, more volume, and less oil production. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1619550186556-5C6PL8PUISRP88QWTN92/IMG_4013.jpeg Renewed Strength-MONAT - Feeling Sassy Every girl feels sassy on a good hair day!! ♥️ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1619550181549-03UNVZ792U0Y61B2N9IE/IMG_3893.jpeg Renewed Strength-MONAT - Wash, Rinse, Repeat My pores, fine lines and age spots are being refined with every wash!! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1619550182164-BWC9C7ESCEPF080MS83A/IMG_3629.jpeg Renewed Strength-MONAT - Oh, So Shiny After the first few months, I started noticing shine and manageability to once dull and lifeless hair brought on by natural aging. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1619550183166-CP6B4PIGQQ8FU3S94HWL/IMG_4831.jpeg Renewed Strength-MONAT - Ready for my Close-up Seven months in and my pores are nearly invisible!!! What?!? All I did was change up my skin care, oh and bought some fabulous NEW mascara!! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5bbcf0a7bfba3e46623872f9/1607016342701-BEJJ0IPR1P1B0RTFKKV1/IMG_3694.jpg Renewed Strength-MONAT - Every day is An Adventure Sometimes putting yourself out there is overwhelming and I don’t always get the perfect shot but I am learning a lot along the way.