LONGING...
Nearly halfway through a sixty day devotional by Lysa Terkeurst, I found myself soaking up every word. I was eager to apply each morsel of wisdom she could offer for my physical transformation.
This particular chapter in the text focused on creating space for growth by eliminating distractions. I asked the Lord to reveal an area of my life that could benefit by carving out space for Him to move.
That question was answered quickly as my phone pinged with my weekly usage report. Tears stung the back of my eyes as the small device, boldly displayed the amount of time I had spent aimlessly meandering through social media.
That evening, I deleted the apps from my phone and committed to replace that time with activities designed to draw my heart closer to the Lord.
Captain’s Log - “Distraction Free Day One…” With a kiss, I ushered my husband out the door at 6:53 am leaving ten long hours to fill until his return.
What should I do - watch television, not enough energy to clean, was it too early to call someone?
The internal chatter continued as I shuffled into the kitchen to refill my water bottle and find paper to make my plan of attack.
In a matter of minutes, I was hit with the realization of my sudden spiral into the abyss of social media.
Those hours of mindless scrolling symbolized a temporary band-aid, a way to occupy my day. They offered a mere distraction from the physical pain of my illness and emotional emptiness of spending so much time alone.
As this epiphany surfaced, I cried out to the Lord, seeking forgiveness for my divided heart. In such a short time, I had allowed myself to become comfortable in my relationship with Him.
My thoughts cluttered with mundane tasks, pain, and residual bitterness stealing my focus from the one who could bring life-giving peace and complete satisfaction.
As I returned to my spot on the sofa, my phone lit up with a notification from Google; they had thoughtfully cataloged my old videos.
Distracted, once again, I watched one of my niece sharing in a “lunch date” with Ryan. While viewing the encounter between the two, I was drawn back into those days when she longed for two things above all else.
Her Uncle RyRy and squeeze applesauce packages…
For those who don’t know my husband personally, he has an endearing ability to win over the hearts of women, young and old.
Our then, three-year-old niece, was no exception. He would “rescue” his princess from pre-school each afternoon so she could eat foods she enjoyed, securing his status as her favorite.
Her noon meals were standard, lovingly packed in a glittered lunchbox. Tucked carefully beneath the fourteen slices of pepperoni and peanut butter balls were her treasured applesauce pouches.
She would inhale the delicious fruit, squeezing the plastic faster than he could remove the wrapper of the next item.
In fact, he would often have to remind her to BREATHE while consuming the contents to ensure she wouldn’t lose too much oxygen to her brain.
Unless an adult set limits for her, our precious hazel-eyed beauty, had a yearning for packaged applesauce that knew no bounds..
With the sweet memory lingering, a new thought began to take shape.
Can’t the same be said of you and me? We have a longing, a deep desire within us to be filled.
No, I am not talking about a need to stuff our bellies with packaged applesauce.
Our journey of discovering something beyond ourselves was instilled in us at birth.
As the Bible records, God, lovingly knit us together in the depths of our mother’s womb. As His created beings, we are then set on a life-long trek to seek truth; searching, oftentimes painfully, in an effort to catch a glimpse of something more.
However, in our pursuit, we regularly attempt to fill the void with the things of this world, never quite finding the one thing that completely satisfies.
Our time, resources, and emotional energy are rapidly depleted when we search for things that can’t bring us lasting fulfillment.
What if perhaps on our journey, we take a cue from the psalmists?
AS THE DEER PANTS [LONGINGLY] FOR THE WATER BROOKS,
SO MY SOUL PANTS [LONGINGLY] FOR YOU, O GOD.
MY SOUL (MY LIFE, MY INNER SELF) THIRSTS FOR GOD, FOR THE LIVING GOD.
WHEN WILL I COME AND SEE THE FACE OF GOD? (PSALM 42:1-2 AMP)
O GOD, YOU ARE MY GOD; WITH DEEPEST LONGING I WILL SEEK YOU;
[MY SOUL MY LIFE, MY VERY SELF] THIRSTS FOR YOU, MY FLESH LONGS AND SIGHS FOR YOU,
IN A DRY AND WEARY LAND WHERE THERE IS NO WATER.SO I HAVE GAZED UPON YOU IN THE SANCTUARY,
TO SEE YOUR POWER AND YOUR GLORY. BECAUSE YOUR LOVING KINDNESS IS BETTER THAN LIFE,
MY LIPS SHALL PRAISE YOU. SO WILL I BLESS YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE;
I WILL LIFT UP MY HANDS IN YOUR NAME. (PSALM 63: 1-4 AMP)
As these truths began spinning in my soul, I set forth on an exploration of scripture. A road previously traveled but now armed with fresh perspective of my need for the life-giving satisfaction found only in Christ. I had a new desire for deeper growth and understanding.
With each passing day, I find myself positioned in a place of longing. My mind, no longer fixated on the need to fill my time with aimless wandering. While the apps remain deleted, I have returned to using social media on a portion-controlled basis.
Old habits replaced, I now awaken with an eagerness to seek the Lord and what He has planned for me.
Where are you dear reader? Do you find yourself searching, in need of eliminating things that distract you from the best that God has to offer? Or, are you seeking Him wholeheartedly with each new sunrise?
Wherever you may be in this moment, know that the God of the universe longs to meet with you!
