The Next Right Thing
I spent nearly two years studying the pages of the government website as my health deteriorated. I hoped that my future didn’t include an outcome similar to ones detailed on the attached links. Nevertheless, as my situation progressed I found myself in the very position I never dreamed I’d be at thirty-nine… I fought daily to maintain my physical abilities, wrestling with my pride. I prayed as we visited our family physician that he would merely recommend a job change rather than this course of action but as we reviewed my records it became abundantly clear what needed to be done.
While I have a proclivity toward being an organized, Type A, perfectionist; I am also creative, loyal, and kind. What doesn’t naturally fit into my descriptive narrative is DISABLED. As we left the doctor’s office that word flashed through my mind in huge neon letters. It took months to accept my reality and questions lingered as I began the lengthy paperwork process.
What does this mean for the future?
Why can I not make myself better? Am I a failure?
How will all of my medical bills be covered until I am approved?
Can God still use me in this season?
A couple of months after filing, I was having a relatively good day, so Ryan treated our seven-year-old niece, Brooke and me to a viewing of Frozen 2. In typical Disney fashion, I was immediately drawn in by the storyline and intrigued by the complexity of the musical composition. Something about this sequel seemed to meet my minefield of emotions and tears covered my cheeks throughout the majority of the film.
At the height of the story, Anna, the younger of the sisters, appears to be in a hopeless situation and is left alone to journey her way back to those she loves. The song she conveys in her desperation caught me off guard; as the lyrics propelled the character to place one foot in front of the other by choosing to do the next right thing.
I sat holding my breath, my watch vibrated indicating my heart rate had elevated matching the crescendo of the music. At the exact moment, lost in my pity-party of emotion, my niece reached over grabbed my hand, and sweetly held on for the remainder of the movie.
Nothing about my circumstance was altered as we left the theater that evening; in fact, I fainted upon arriving at home and felt utterly drained the following day. What changed was my outlook on my new season of living. Although I don’t know what my future holds, with the Lord’s leading, I can choose to do the next right thing.
For me that means waking each morning, evaluating the severity of my symptoms and determining what level of contribution I can make in the world today. Perhaps I can serve my husband by ironing his clothing for work or stand long enough to prepare a meal. My brain fog may lift for a time allowing me to write a few paragraphs bringing a smile of encouragement to my readers. Still yet, some days in this season may afford me an opportunity to visit my family, tucking laughter and memories away in preparation for the unexpected hurdles.
Whatever this season brings, I am confident the Lord will continue to use me to bless the lives of those around me as I simply choose to do the next right thing.
I've seen dark before, but not like this
This is cold, this is empty, this is numb
The life I knew is over, the lights are out
Hello, darkness, I'm ready to succumb
I follow you around, I always have
But you've gone to a place I cannot find
This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing
Can there be a day beyond this night?
I don't know anymore what is true
I can't find my direction, I'm all alone
The only star that guided me was you
How to rise from the floor?
But it's not you, I'm rising for
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing
I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath, this next step
This next choice is one that I can make
So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
And, with it done, what comes then?
When it's clear that everything will never be the same again
Then I'll make the choice to hear that voice
And do the next right thing…
The Next Right Thing - Frozen 2
