As I looked at our May calendar on the first day of the month, I noticed that my beloved had marked our 20th Anniversary, as if I could somehow forget.
Maybe it was a reminder for him.
Numerous lessons learned throughout our time together came to mind. So as a way to countdown to our day of celebration, we took to social media, sharing the top twenty things we have gleaned from our union.
Waking up to the humming sounds of the vacuum went a long way in filling this girl’s love tank.
My hubby could happily live on dairy… therefore, a spoon in the car became a necessity for when an ice cream craving hits.
Obviously every couple experiences conflict at some point in their relationship. Learning how you respond to conflict will allow you to be constructive rather than destructive in the long run.
For example, many arguments in our early days ended with hurt feelings and very little resolution.
That is until I learned that Ryan needs a little space to process before tackling an issue. He learned that I want to dive in and get to resolution, regardless of what hurtful things come about.
After discussing our desire for resolution, we realized what I need is reassurance before he takes that space.
So, it typically goes like this… source of conflict appears and Ryan will say something like, “We will address this, but right now, I need time.”
What I hear is, he is not blowing me off but just needs to collect his thoughts before returning to the matter at hand.
Do we do this perfectly every time?Absolutely NOT!!
That is when grace and forgiveness are required on both parts.
**Another lesson learned… you don’t need to attend every argument.
Ask yourself, will this issue matter in five minutes or five years? If not, let it go!!
When you are far too serious and marry a jokester, you have two options…
You can spend a lifetime in a permanent eye roll or learn to laugh.
I’ll be forever thankful that my beloved taught me to embrace fun and makes me laugh every day.
Need some inspiration? Ryan enjoys people doing stupid stuff, barf scenes, and giggling babies.
When the honeymoon phase ends, and the stressors increase, the real work begins.
Putting intentional effort into your relationship is a requirement for taking ordinary to extraordinary!
“Falling in love is great, but chasing your love and experiencing it every day is even greater.” Anonymous
You are always happy, do you guys ever fight?” our young nephew asked.
While we quickly reassured him that conflict is normal in every relationship, his question sparked further discussion on the matter.
We explained that we decided early in our marriage to keep disagreements between us.
We recognize it’s important for parents to model healthy conflict resolution for children, however, our situation is unique and doesn’t always include those opportunities.
People form opinions quickly and although projecting perfection is never our intention, we always want to present one another in a positive manner.
Your spouse is NOT designed to meet all of your needs.
That is part of God’s job description.
Philippians 4:19 tells us, “My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
As our “favorites” grow in God’s blessings, I pray they take this one lesson away, as they watch Ryan and me:
Seek God FIRST and allow Him to be your source of supply.
Allow Him to make you complete.
When that becomes our singular pursuit, we ultimately experience God’s best within our relationships.
I sat in a room full of men that, for the better part of an hour, took turns bashing their wives.
My face must have registered something akin to disgust because one looked over and said, “Oh no, I think we are making her uncomfortable.”
While that statement was true, I was outnumbered and ill equipped to confront them on the matter.
I quickly exited but couldn’t help wondering if that was the norm.
Later, I questioned Ryan who said unfortunately, yes, it has become acceptable to complain or ridicule partners in their absence. He shared, having experienced something similar with a friend.
The world is so full of critics, my husband does not need me to take part in putting him down.
Ryan and I believe wholeheartedly, that the change we so desperately need, starts in the home.
If I can’t be Ryan’s number one fan, hype-woman, or personal cheerleader…
WHO WILL?
Have you ever had a moment in life when you have an instant connection with an animal and know it is going to be something special?
Nope... I am not really an animal person. But, I choose to love a man who is head over heels about cats and I will never deny him such joy.
Watching him interact with them has taught me a great deal about unconditional love.
Two decades in, I can confidently say that I can’t imagine our home without the sweet little mischief makers.
We have learned a great deal by sharing our diverse interests.
Y’all, I had not lived until I attended my first Comic Con or watched all the Marvel Movies, in order.
And Ryan has been thoroughly educated on prosciutto, or as he calls it “fancy bacon,” while watching my favorite cooking shows, and always listens intently as I share my latest blog.
We don’t have to enjoy the same things in order to show we care.
